Tuesday, January 05, 2010

4 a.m.

I'm a really light sleeper. I woke up to the sound of a laptop's warning beep that it was running low on battery. The laptop was in the next room. Across a couple closed doors.

I couldn't fall back asleep and stayed awake in bed for an hour or so, just thinking. This blog post is already sounding very familiar, but I'll keep writing and see what it has in store.

Though sleep eluded me, I still felt very relaxed and calm. The days have been a bit trying lately, but I felt quite at peace while I lay awake. I felt less weighed down by my problems. It was a nice, introspective session. It was almost like I was sitting on one of those comfortable reclining couches you see in psychiatrists' offices. (At least the ones on TV shows seem comfortable; I can't speak for real psychiatrists' offices.) Except there was no shrink. Well, not unless you count myself. Yeah, it was a bit like speaking to yourself as if you were an outside listener. I must say that I was a pretty good listener. I bet I could charge fairly competitive rates if I went pro.

What was I pondering? People, mostly. And, you know, life. If you know me, you know that I get easily addicted to TV shows. I'm very careful about starting a new show, because I know that as soon as I do, I'll likely be hooked. I'm a sucker for a good story, whether it's a book, movie, or lately a TV show. I get pulled into the character's lives and I often frame my musings on life in terms of what I gleaned from identifying with a character on some show or book. I like to tell myself that the time I spend watching these shows is time well-spent understanding human character. Perhaps that's just a gross rationalization, but I'm going to stick with that for now.

My musings on life usually culminate with an outpouring of affection and love for people. All the day-to-day prejudices, angst, and feelings of anger just wash away. All the petty troubles that plague my mind during the day don't seem as important anymore. And I realize that the Beatles were right along. All you need is love.

--Arkajit